Star Wars: Clone Tiffs

Luke & Kermit

Said the frog to the Skywalker: “I’m okay with the fist up my arse.
You seem to be having a spot of trouble…”

The bright side. I reexperienced the Muppet Show episode featuring a couple of droids, Luke Skywalker, & Luke’s cousin Mark. (The first sketch – a shepherd’s love song to a sheep – was pretty ballsy.)

And now I’m nine years late seeing Star Wars: Clone Wars. After the utter crap that was the prequels, I couldn’t do it, despite friends’ approval.

It’s amazing what fanboys will begrudgingly accept as ‘okay’ when they’ve been greatly disappointed. Lucas et al still design like fools. Robot targeting that isn’t accurate? Robots whose main processing happens in the anthropomorphic ‘head’ with no redundancy? Pfft. Reboot the whole damn thing, sez I.

And how about that opening titles music? Next time you want to audibly eschew the vibe of imminent destruction by emulating a marching horde, try to not filter it so much that it sounds like chewing.

All I hear is Bluntman & Chronic with the munchies. I don’t know; maybe it’s Peter Mayhew (groan).

And MacGregor’s Obi-Wan wasn’t this whiny. Did James Arnold Taylor go back in time & take lessons from A New Hope‘s Mark Hamill? This is really making the Matrix sequels look good. Hell, Schumacher’s Batmans shine by comparison.


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